


The Dream.

by sarajinki



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 09:04:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20486336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarajinki/pseuds/sarajinki
Summary: In which the pursuit of fame brought them apart.





	1. Base.

**Author's Note:**

> Story I wrote in 2015 inspired by the japanese movie Nana !   
Cross-posting from my writing blog -> rollercoasterwrite.tumblr.com
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :)

The crowd was frantic. A bunch of people standing subservient as if the band was their saviour. He could only snort at their amazed faces and their lips moving in sync with the lyrics being howled across the stadium. He had always hated that song. Even before it had existed. It was only natural that he'd hate it. And hearing it live just made it worse.

His eyes fell on the singer again. He watched his every move, every twitch in his muscles and every nerve in his neck. His jaw clenched as his voice penetrated the barrier he had so adamantly tried to hold up. It was even better than what he'd remembered. It was perfect. He finally looked away, feeling himself getting light-headed. There were too many lights beaming, too much theatrics, too many people... What had happened to the rawness that came with the transmission of their craft? He let himself leave the place to go a few months back. That warehouse with the musty scent mixed in with the stench of their cigarettes came back to him vividly. His body tensed at the thought and suddenly he couldn't stay there anymore. He came back to reality, the lights flashing once more into his eyes. The song had just ended.

As the other started, he felt nauseous. It was slow, too slow... The crowd had calmed down holding on to their glow sticks as if they were holding on to their lives. They were hung up to his every word, while he was trying his best not to hear them. He directed his gaze to the guitarist, then to the bassist, then to the drummer. They all seemed so unreal, like holograms. He didn't feel their passion. This wasn't what he wanted for himself and... not for him either. He looked back at the center again. He was all that mattered. He was in it for real. Which only made him angrier, sadder.

The voice to his right detached him from his bitterness. He suddenly remembered Kibum's existence. This was all his fault. He watched with disgust as he too gave echo to every word the other was singing. When he took in his glistening eyes, he looked away. He wasn't going to accept that. This was painful enough already. He didn't need to be reminded of the reach the other had acquired on people. That should've been for him. He looked up at the stage once more, but this time, he was the one holding the microphone. He was singing the song. It had a new life, and it was much better. As the lyrics vibrated through his throat, he looked to his right, and saw him where he belonged. By his side, with his bass; with his intense eyes always locking with his. The illusion was shattered as the other broke out into the peak of the song, his voice rising to the ceiling, leaving everyone silent. His heart stopped. He couldn't get away from it. It reached deep inside, leaving him breathless. And then it was over. Really over this time.

He knew they talked after that, giving their thanks and riling up the fans, but he couldn't hear them. He was still hung on that note. It had broken something inside. His body had turned cold and his mouth, dry. He gave his friend a deadly look, blaming him again for bringing him here. And then he remembered that he had accepted. _'Why?'_ he thought.

And then they were all moving out, bumping into each other as the excitement troubled their bodies. He, on the other hand, felt drained, lifeless. There was a buzzing in his ear, probably Kibum's voice he figured, but it didn't reach him. He was unreachable at this point. When the cold finally hit their faces, he took out a cigarette. Maybe burning his lungs would ease the pain.

'Yah!' Kibum yelled.

Taemin winced as the sound vibrated in his eardrum. 'Too loud,' he mumbled as he lit it up.

'I wouldn't be so loud if you'd just answer me,' Kibum pouted.

Taemin could see how exhilarated he was. He had been talking about that damn concert for weeks now.

'What did you say?' he asked nonchalantly.

'I was saaayiiing...,' he drawled as a wide smile stretched his lips. 'That Jonghyun was so amazing!! Oh my god like, he's so passionate and his voice is just...' The older one shrieked his contentment, which made the younger one roll his eyes.

'If you say so,' he only said, trying to keep his recurring disgust at bay.

'What is your problem?' Kibum crossed his arms. 'Why can't you just admit he's good?' he pursued with indignation.

Taemin sighed. This wasn't time for storytelling. This was the time for a few beers and a good fuck. 'He is good,' he conceded, feeling his stomach knot. He knew that too well.

He drew in a few more puffs before squashing the butt under his foot. And then he squeezed another one between his lips. 'Let's go to a bar,' he announced.

Kibum nodded. 'Alright. Do you know some place near?'

Taemin shrugged. 'We'll figure it out.' He started walking, giving the other no choice but to follow.

'I'm just so happy,' Kibum let out, effervescent. 'Thanks for coming with me,' he then added as he intertwined their arms.

Taemin was too unfazed to pull himself out of the embrace. Too tired to give him an answer. He just kept walking, concentrating on the warmth entering him and leaving him subsequently.

He felt his heart jump as his phone suddenly buzzed inside his pocket. He frowned as he stilled in the middle of the sidewalk, making his friend halt too. He took it out and gave a quick look at the screen. He didn't know the number, but it didn't matter. It could be for a gig and he'd be damned if he missed it.

'Hello?' he answered as he held the phone to his ear.

'Hey,' a soft voice replied.

His eyes widened as his lips parted. 'Who is it?' he feigned in a shaky voice.

'Really?' Jonghyun threw back through a chuckle. 'I'm glad you didn't change your number,' he immediately continued.

Taemin looked down to his feet, where his cigarette had landed. _'Fuck.'_ This should've been easy, this should've required no thought. Hanging up should've been his immediate response.

'What do you want?' he asked sharply.

'I should be doing the asking. Why were you at the concert?' the other forwardly questioned.

His chest squeezed. He had been caught. The embarrassment he was feeling was nothing compared to the turmoil that created in him. Through all these people, he had found him, he had seen him. He bit down on his lip.

'I was accompanying a friend,' he answered honestly, keeping the core of it to himself.

'Aaah, I see,' Jonghyun simply acknowledged. 'Where are you right now?'

Taemin bit down harder on his lip. He should've just hung up. He gave a quick look Kibum's way, falling on his confused expression. He then turned, offering him his back.

'Why do you ask?' he retorted, keeping his voice low.

'Are you still near?' the other just kept on.

'Why do you ask?' Taemin reiterated with frustration.

'I'll come to you, just tell me where you are,' Jonghyun returned categorically.

'I don't want to see you.'

'I do.'

Taemin felt his heart beat faster. Why was he still on the phone? 'I'm still near... Two streets forward, then turn left. I'll wait,' he finally surrendered before hanging up.

Kibum didn't waste any time. 'Who was that?'

'You'll see.' Taemin let his back rest on the concrete of a building, trying to get his heart rate back to normal. He could blame his friend all he wanted, but this was his fault. He had accepted to make the trip all the way here, and now he had just accepted to see him. _Pathetic._

It wasn't long before resonant footsteps were heard nearby. At this hour, the streets were empty which didn't leave much option. He was coming. Taemin looked down to his feet again, preparing. This wasn't the time to lose his front. He had a past to avenge. The footsteps had stopped, but he didn't look up, not yet.

'Oh my god...' Kibum exclaimed in disbelief. 'This... this can't be... no... oh my god.'

And then Taemin felt his hand tugging at his shirt, urging him to look up. Which he finally did. Seeing him up close was not something he could ever be prepared for. He was just as beautiful, maybe even more than before. His heart broke loose from his weak hold only to thump loudly against his chest.

'Taemin,' Jonghyun voiced gently.

The younger one felt his friend's burning gaze on him. 'You two know each other?' he shrilled.

Taemin just nodded, making his fake disinterest blatant.

'Are you his friend?' Jonghyun asked with a warm smile.

Kibum nodded frantically, before bowing several times.

'Aish, no need for that,' Taemin disapproved.

Jonghyun's eyes set on him again, but then moved right back to Kibum. 'Do you mind if I steal him from you?' he requested as he flashed another smile.

'No, no, of course, I don't mind...' Kibum rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. 'I just want to say that your voice is so amazing and I'm such a big fan. You've just got that special something, I don't know, it's just...,' he blurted as he rocked his body back and forth.

'Done?' Taemin then asked him.

Kibum cocked an eyebrow. 'Eh?'

'I'm not going anywhere with him, so let's move,' the younger one declared before grabbing his arm. But he was stopped. The other's grip was stronger. 'Taemin,' Jonghyun uttered as he stepped closer.

The brunette could suddenly feel his breath tickling his ear. 'Give me a moment,' he pleaded. He felt his knees weaken, but kept himself straight. He let go of Kibum before turning towards him. 'A few minutes.'

Jonghyun chuckled. And then his hand was pulling on his arm again, dragging him away. He granted his friend one last look before following the other to wherever he had planned to bring him.

Soon, they were stopping in front of a luxurious hotel, which made Taemin scoff. 'Of course,' he said to himself. He kept following, until they were high up, and in front of a white door with golden numbers adorning it. He still followed as the door closed behind them and the lights gave away the surroundings. Every was so neat, so classy... He gave the other a strange look.

'Really?' It was his turn to ridicule. This wasn't him, nor should it ever be.

'This is temporary. You know, while we're on tour...' Jonghyun wasn't looking at him anymore. He took off his jacket and threw it on a chair. 'Want a beer?' he offered.

Taemin acquiesced, taking off his own jacket in turn. He let himself fall on the white sofa before lifting his feet up to rest on the glass table facing it. He kept looking over and over at the living room, the kitchen up front, and every piece of furniture... everything being disgustingly white. He wanted to get out of here, but already felt rooted to the place. It was a trap.

Jonghyun came back with two beers before setting himself right before him on a futon. They both drank silently for a while, not looking at each other, just basking in the awkwardness.

Taemin felt himself get fidgety. He didn't like being so still. He finally allowed himself to look at him. Under the unforgiving lighting, Taemin could see his cracks. The circles under his eyes were dark and his cheeks were hollow. He suddenly didn't look as magnificent as he had looked on stage. He could feel his confidence getting back to him again.

'It's no good,' he articulated clearly, before taking another sip.

Jonghyun looked at him, puzzled. 'What?'

'Your songs,' he replied frankly. He waited for the shift, for any sign of breakage but instead he got something else.

'I know,' Jonghyun agreed with a sigh.

Taemin just blinked, unsettled. 'You know?' he echoed.

The older one nodded. 'I don't get to write the songs anymore and the members... I don't really know them yet,' he admitted unreservedly.

Taemin didn't know what to say. This was not how he had envisioned their encounter to go at all. He had wanted to crush him, but he was already crushed. He could feel his sadness reach him over all that resentment still pulsing through him.

'But you get to play in a big stadium...' he offered as comfort. 'I don't...' he added through whisper.

Jonghyun stared at him. 'Before I thought it mattered, but it really doesn't. Playing in front of a big crowd or a few people... it all becomes a blur. What matters is the craft. It's singing and playing and...' He stopped himself.

His eyes weren't on him anymore. They were on the floor, on his fluffy white rug. Taemin felt even more sad.

'And what?' he couldn't help but ask.

'And being with you,' he answered after letting silence settle for a few seconds. 'I came into this because of you...,' he continued shakily.

Taemin didn't like where this was going. He was supposed to have the upper hand. He was supposed to be mad, hurt him, but he couldn't anymore.

'Does it make a difference?' he suddenly uttered. 'You ended up leaving us to join them. You're living the dream we all wanted,' he threw at him, although those words who had been meant as weapons ended up being self-destructive. He felt weary as they left him.

Jonghyun's jaw clenched. 'You're saying that as if I had abandoned the group. I wanted to stay, but you pushed me away, remember?'

Taemin pondered briefly those words. He wanted to refute it all. In the end, he couldn't be blamed for another one's choice. 'You made that choice for yourself. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could make it without you. That I could be stronger without you.' That came out louder than he'd intended. So there was still some anger inside him, so be it. His grip tightened on the bottle.

'Taemin-ah...' Jonghyun let out in a breath. He moved, getting closer and closer...

Taemin felt himself being pushed down, his head falling onto the sofa's armrest. Jonghyun's body was hovering his, his weight trapping him into stillness. Taemin felt his lids get heavy, covering his eyes partly, giving out his weakness. His warmth and intoxicating scent were getting to his head, making him forget everything he had wanted to fight for. He brought a hand behind his neck as the other's face rested in the crook of his neck. And suddenly he felt him shake. The side of his face slowly became damp with the other's tears, making him hold tighter. He wanted him, he wanted him so bad...

'Fuck me,' he breathed against him.

He felt him shake again, but this was different. His rough hands started working on his pants, pulling them down clumsily as he rose himself up just enough before falling back down on the cushions. He was suddenly sucked into nothingness as the other broke into him. Pain flashed behind his eyes as he muffled a scream. He lost himself through the thrusts, the repeated kisses, and the intolerable heat that menaced to consume him. He was all his again.

'Aaaah...' His nails dug into his back. Jonghyun was breaking him again. He captured his plump lips to feel his tongue, to feel his excruciating desire burn through him even more. In that moment, he felt his face dampen again, but he couldn't tell whose tears they were. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that hand caressing him to completion as he pushed back inside him more forcefully. He whimpered. The whiteness of the room blinded him as his body gave out, releasing every tension out of him. The only remaining part of him responding being his mouth, he sighed the other's name in synch with his demise.

Their eyes locked, both of them sweaty and breathless. Jonghyun kissed him again, softly. If Taemin had been a fool, he might have believed there was still some love in there. Maybe he was a fool.

He winced as the other pulled out. It was over. He watched as he covered himself and retrieved his previous place. He couldn't do the same. He was too weak. He stared at the ceiling instead, bringing an arm to his forehead. _'Why didn't I hang up?'_ he thought again.

He didn't know how much time passed, but when he looked over one more time, the other had left. He sighed. He had let him win again. He always triumphed, whether it was talent-wise, career-wise...or... He moved, pulling himself up straight as he retrieved his clothes. Making sure he had not left anything behind, he walked out without a thought.

The cold air hit his face again as he stepped out through the entrance. Soon enough, another cigarette had found its rightful place between his lips and his phone was up to his ear.

'Taemin?' Kibum answered with surprise.

'I need you to promise me something,' he declared instantly.

'Okay...' Kibum complied, confused.

'No, you have to be sure,' Taemin insisted.

'Okay,' Kibum repeated with assurance.

'We're going to become a bigger band than _Base_,' Taemin revealed.

'What?' Kibum expressed in shock. 'How can we-'

'You said you'd promise,' Taemin cut off.

'But...' Kibum sighed. 'Okay, I promise,' he conceded, although still at a complete loss.

'Thank you.'

Taemin hung up and drew in a puff. This wasn't over.


	2. Ace.

A few lazy riffs set the tone. Hand on the microphone, Taemin bobbed his head a few times as Jinki tapped his sticks together to give the rhythm. And then it was on. His lips moved against the device as the lyrics left him with ease. This was his own creation and for the second time this day, he was putting it out to an unknowing world. His eyes closed as his voice climbed higher, losing himself to the raw melody. Everything was just perfect. His lips stretched into a smile as he gave Kibum a quick look. He was getting better and better and there were no more doubts that he had his place in the band. They were a force to be reckoned with and he couldn't wait to step into the giants' ring to show them how much it was true. It wouldn't be much longer, he could feel it...

The door suddenly slammed open as their manager waltzed in, making them all halt. Taemin held back a curse. The moment was ruined. He gave the older man a deadly stare, before walking to the stool he had left at the other end of the garage. Crossing his legs, he waited, taking out his packet of cigarettes in prevision of a boring talk. The others were all staring at him, body tense with anticipation. Something about the newly arrived's demeanour made it clear that something was up. 

The latter's lips widened into a grin. 'Guess what, guys?' His tone bubbled with excitement, which had for main effect to irritate the singer.

'We're not going to guess. Just tell us,' he shut down flatly. His fingers holding on to a cigarette, he brought it up and he pulled in some smoke.

'Oh come on, that's no fun,' the tall man they all simply called _Sunbae, _whined.

In that moment, Taemin wondered why he had agreed to have him as their manager. Half of the time he was annoying. Everything about him was too much. And now was no exception. He didn't have time for his games, he just wanted to know.

'Well okay, um... Well clearly we got a gig, right?' Kibum tried excitedly.

The older man nodded. 'Yes, but it's not just any gig... Okay, okay, I'll give you a little more information,' he continued. 'You're going to open for one of the most popular bands right now,' he specified intensely.

They all looked at each other, their brains running wild with the new input.

'Is it FireBlast? Jinki guessed eagerly, eyes growing wide.

The other shook his head. 'No, the band I'm talking about is at the top of the charts right now. We couldn't have gotten anyone better,' he gave out with much agitation.

'Yah, just tell us already,' Minho finally urged.

'Okay, okay. I can't keep it in any longer anyways,' the other complied. 'Can I get a drum roll?' he added as he gave Jinki a smile. The younger one did just that and as soon as it was over, the highly awaited answer left his lips. 'Base.'

Taemin's body shook as he was taken by a sudden coughing fit. His body bent in half, his head resting on his knees for support. When he looked back up, everyone's eyes were on him, two sets of them being filled with dread.

He looked over to their manager. 'We're not doing it,' he simply said as he got up. He crushed the last of his cigarette and crossed his arms intently. No matter what, he wouldn't change his mind.

'Tae...' Jinki started. 'Let's talk about it first, okay?' His eyes were pleading, but the younger one was unmoved. He knew better than anyone why he wouldn't do it.

'I said no,' he reiterated coldly.

Kibum cleared his throat, uneasy. 'It's a chance like no other... we should... you know...' He stopped himself as he felt the younger one's unforgiving gaze set on him.

'Exactly,' the older man jumped in. 'Why would you even refuse?' he exclaimed in disbelief. 'This will mark your access to the big league. You'll all become famous,' he riled up with his never dying spunk.

Kibum's smile reached his ears, despite the tense atmosphere. He was already all in. Jinki for his part, was rendered to silence, his hand coming up to the back of his neck to rub out his discomfort.

'Can I talk to you for a sec, Tae?' Minho suddenly requested.

The younger one scrutinized his face for a moment, trying to grasp his intention. But he figured the best way to know it was to actually give in. 'Okay,' he accepted as he walked out first through the side door. He climbed a few stairs, hearing echoing footsteps right behind him. They soon were back into Jinki's living room, the silence lingering around making place for intimacy.

'I know why you can't say yes,' he started forwardly, 'but you can't let it ruin our chances to finally make ourselves widely known,' he finished sharply.

'What is it that you think you know?' Taemin scoffed.

'You still love him, don't you?' Minho piqued instantly.

Taemin's lips parted to answer, but no words came out. Instead, he looked right into the taller one's eyes. He walked closer to him, a twisted plan forming in his mind. He tiptoed to bring himself closer to his face until he could actually tame him with a kiss. Minho's arms wrapped around his waist, holding him tight, as he gave him full access to the warmth of his mouth. But it was cut short, as the other pulled back abruptly.

'How dare you?' Minho expressed with blatant anger.

Taemin sighed. 'You have your answer now, don't you?' he mimicked derisively.

The older one's jaw clenched. 'Kibum told me that you met up with Jjong after their concert,' he revealed.

_Damn it, Kibum._

'So?' he threw back insolently.

'What happened?' Minho inquired unabashedly.

Taemin felt almost sad as he looked into his eyes again. Sad that he'd never be able to give him what he wanted.

'We talked and then I left,' he answered matter-of-factly to spare him unnecessary pain.

'Why don't I believe that?'

The younger one shrugged. 'Believe it or not, it doesn't matter. We're not going to play at their concert,' he brought back categorically.

'You're right, it doesn't matter. And that's why we should play at their concert,' Minho persisted.

'You're letting that stupid competition between the two of you get in the way,' he went on. 'Your pride is turning into a poison instead of being the fuel to our success,' he laid out vehemently.

Taemin looked down. The unthinkable had just happened; he had been moved. Defeated, he looked at him, resentment clear on his face.

'Fine, we'll do it.'

Minho's shoulders sunk from relief, and then, they were both back down to the garage.

'Okay,' Taemin announced to the expecting group.

'Okay what?' Jinki verified.

'We'll play.'

They all cheered as excitement plastered their faces. His lips tightened with irritation. He hated them all. He looked around for the beer he had forgotten to finish when a sudden question popped up in his mind.

'How did you get us the gig?' he straightforwardly asked their manager.

'Base's manager called me and said that their singer had sent him your demo. He listened to it and _'instantly fell in love with it'_, as he said himself,' the older one informed.

Taemin closed his eyes, teeth biting hard on his lip. He should've known. Jonghyun was showing once again that he had total control over him.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Taemin looked at himself in the mirror. He was greatly displeased with what he was seeing. The lack of sleep of the last few days showed clearly on his face, but there was no more time to rectify it. In about two hours, they'd be on stage; they'd be taking a step further into their dream. A hand on his shoulder made him jump.

'Nervous?' Jinki asked with a sympathetic smile.

'Why should I be?' he retorted as he applied more eyeliner.

'I don't know... maybe because we're about to play in front of thousands of people,' the older one reminded with a laugh.

'Those thousands of people are going to be hit by greatness,' Taemin comforted the other, but mostly himself.

Jinki's smile widened. 'I can already hear them chanting _'Ace, Ace, Ace,'_ he enacted as his arms rocked in sync.

Taemin couldn't help but laugh at the other's antics. The latter always found a way to appease him.

'Oh my god, you guys, they're here!' Kibum shrieked as he walked into their waiting room.

'Who?' Jinki inquired with interest.

'Base, who else?' Kibum blurted, almost yelling.

Taemin brought his hand down to his side. It had truly started now. _'This is your moment, no one else's,' _he kept repeating to himself. His heart didn't mind his logic as it beat loudly, throwing his body into a frenzy. He paced back and forth a few times, looking all around, except at the two others. He suddenly stopped. 'Where's Minho?'

Kibum and Jinki looked at each other, both unsettled. 'I don't know,' the younger one said first only to have the older one echo his words.

Taemin groaned. This wasn't the time for unknowns. He walked out of the room, only to regret it instantly. He allowed himself to look into seizing hazel eyes, feeling himself turn lax. Jonghyun didn't shy away; he walked right up to him.

'You look tired,' Jonghyun pointed out with worry as he peered at him.

Taemin held his gaze. 'I'm keeping my energy for the stage.'

Jonghyun snorted. 'Of course, you are.' He then extended a hand out. 'Good luck.'

The younger one slapped his hand away. 'I don't need it. You just wait and see,' he snarled, before walking the other way. 

He moved quickly, panic speeding his pace, as he looked around through the masses of people getting everything ready for the concert. He went back and forth a few times, eyes searching, but never finding the one he was looking for. He stopped dead in his tracks, mind running wild with guesses of where he could be. His face lit up. _'Maybe...'_

He ran the other way until he was pushing the door giving on the parking lot. He scanned it quickly, sighing of relief as he saw him, back resting against their van. The other looked his way as his heels clicked on the ground, before he finally reached him.

'What's going on?' he lost no time to ask.

'Nothing, I just needed some fresh air,' he replied with not much effort to hide his trouble.

'Minho,' Taemin called out gently. In an attempt to be comforting, he brought a hand up to his cheek, tracing circles on his skin with his thumb.

'Don't,' the older one cut off by taking hold of his hand.

Taemin chewed on his lip. He felt helpless.

'Have you seen Jonghyun?' Minho inquired after letting silence settle between them.

'Yes,' Taemin answered honestly.

'Me too...' Minho looked down, kicking a rock with his boot.

'Hey,' Taemin uttered for attention. 'This is not about him, remember?' he pursued as he recaptured his gaze. 'This is about us.'

He grabbed his arm. 'Come on, let's go,' he said as he pulled him to follow. The other offered no more resistance and soon enough, they were back in the warmth of the frenetic activity. Everyone was running around, doing this and that, and it was suddenly frightening. Taemin figured he must've passed out or fallen asleep, because between that and the moment when the curtain finally revealed them, everything had become a blur.

But this... This was very real. He was peering into a moving darkness, into an energy-charged darkness. Lighting broke into the indistinctive mass revealing through shades of blue, grey and black the vibrant crowd. He looked at his members, before grabbing the mic.

'Hello everyone, we are Ace,' he announced as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

The crowd cheered, a few screams standing out to their ears. Taemin smiled. At the back, Jinki brought his drumsticks together for a few resonant taps, and then it was on. His lips parted to let out the words smoothly but powerfully. He was alive again. His body moved freely, carrying him to both ends of the stage, as his voice left him effortlessly. They held the second, the third and the fourth song with the same energy and passion, not missing one note. And as fast as that, they were down to the last one, to the most important one. Taemin looked at the crowd, finally bringing himself to stay still. Minho set the tone, before the other two joined in to give out the poignant melody. Taemin closed his eyes. This was his own creation. His mouth opened, suddenly unveiling the words he had so long wanted to share, this time, to a receptive world. He was singing his heart out, every word leaving him, tearing him apart.

_'I looked down to my feeeeet, _

_Blurry to my heeeed, in this vivid heeeaaat, _

_And suddenly I kneew, suddenly I kneeew..._

His eyes reopened.

_'The dream would become meeeee,' _he burst through a voice heavy with passion, and raw with belief.

_'Iiiin tiiime,' _Kibum completed.

_'The dream would become meeee,' _he reprised even louder. _'It already feels so reeeeal...' _His head spun. And then his body gave out, bringing him down to his knees. His hand rested on the floor as the other kept his mic up. _'It already feels so reeaaal...'_ His voice had fallen down to a murmur before he let the music speak for itself.

His band mates, his friends... He didn't think there was a time they had played that beautifully. He let their joined effort pierce through him as they brought the song to its peak. Somehow, he had brought himself up again, knowing this was the most important part. The tempo slowed, until it was barely audible.

_'The dream has become me, can't believe it's real...' _His voice was resonating all around, standing proud before a silent crowd.

And then his voice became the voice of thousands as they suddenly gave back the words. He trembled with their energy as the last note left him. Indeed, it was real.

The crowd instantly broke into roars and cheers. Taemin didn't know how long it lasted, but it felt like forever. He was forced to smile again as Jinki's prediction became true.

_'Ace, Ace, Ace,'_ they chanted in unison, over and over again. Their voices accompanied them, until they left the stage, and even then, they could hear them from afar.

'Oh my god,' Kibum exclaimed in awe. The other three remained silent, sharing the feeling through connected stares.

Finally, Taemin opened the march back into their preparation room, letting himself fall on the sofa in the corner. They didn't have time to process as their manager barged in.

'You were amaziiiiing,' he immediately let out.

'Thank you,' Jinki received with a smile.

'No, but seriously, I couldn't be more proud. The crowd's under your spell!' He bounced on his feet, his excitement coming out through every pore.

They were all smiling now, to the exception of the youngest, who had his arm covering his face.

'Okay, let's go back guys,' he continued.

'Wait, where? Minho asked, confused.

'To the concert of course, you've got reserved seats,' he reminded them.

'I'm not moving,' Taemin instantly let out. This was night was theirs, and it would remain that way 'till the very end.

'Me neither,' the others replied in sync.

Their gazes then all turned to Kibum. His eyes were shifting, the attention making him uneasy.

'You can go,' Taemin said to everyone's utter surprise.

Kibum's eyes grew wide, but then his expression dropped back to normal. 'No, I'm staying too.'

Taemin looked at him, hoping his gratitude showed through.

'Fine then,' their manager sighed. 'But you have to stay for the after party. This will be the time to meet their manager and other influent people in the business,' he explained earnestly, for once.

They all looked at Taemin this time. 'Of course,' he agreed.

The manager gave them once last smile, before stepping out.

'Wow, I was sure you'd object,' Jinki expressed in shock.

'Why would I? We should definitely celebrate,' he exposed as he straightened up. 

_'And I definitely need to rub it in his face.' _

______________________________________________________________________________

When they stepped in, the room became silent for a split second, before clapping filled the room. Congratulations were coming from every corner, people walking up to them to give it personally. Taemin could feel some eyes lingering on him as he walked up to the lounge's bar. The atmosphere was mellow, just what he needed after having gone through a roller coaster of emotions. He asked for a beer, his go to beverage for any circumstance, before walking back to where the others had settled. He sat in the remaining spot, beside Minho. They all suddenly grew silent as if they knew he was about to say something. Which he did.

'I just want to...' He paused, looking at them in turn. 'First of all, I want to thank you all for this night. This was... I don't even have words to describe it.' He looked down, feeling embarrassment take over. 'And thanks for staying by my side, even though I'm impossible to be around most of the time. Just... Thanks for keeping this band alive.'

'To Ace,' he concluded as he raised his bottle. They made theirs collide with his, sealing his words in the process. He allowed himself a full honest smile, smile that dropped down instantly as a familiar group of men stopped before them. He glanced quickly at the center, before turning his gaze the other way.

'We watched you and I gotta say that was really impressive,' the guitarist said with seeming admiration.

'Thank you!' Kibum let out with pride.

'What did you think, Jjong?' Minho bluntly asked. His eyes were intent. Taemin felt him tense up beside him.

'It was as I'd expected...' he answered vaguely, which threw everyone off. Before it got even more uncomfortable, he turned to the youngest.

'Can we talk?' he asked for everyone to hear.

Taemin didn't even grant him a look. 'Not now.'

Jonghyun sighed, as everyone shifted nervously around them. 'I'm not actually asking, Tae.'

The brunette finally looked up, feeling his heart race again. To everyone's surprise he got up and followed him quietly, until they stepped out through the back door.

'What?' he expressed, confused, as he took in the other's angry expression.

'What's up between you and Minho?' the older one sought sharply.

Taemin cocked an eyebrow. 'Where does that even come from?'

'I saw him in the hallway earlier and let's say we didn't have the most pleasant conversation,' Jonghyun informed.

'Didn't it cross your mind that it might be because he misses you?,' Taemin offered despite knowing there wasn't much truth in that.

Jonghyun let out a frank laugh. 'I think it had more to do with the fact that he's scared I'm coming back in the picture again.'

'Well if that's true, he has nothing to worry about because I don't plan to let that happen,' Taemin riposted.

'I knew he had a thing for you...' Jonghyun stepped closer, but Taemin stepped back. 'Did you sleep with him?'

Taemin felt himself weaken as he read the jealousy in his beautiful eyes. He was starting to feel like a fool again. _'Don't let him get to you.' _His back suddenly hit the concrete of the building's wall, trapping him into place, as the other finally closed in on the distance between them.

'Did you?' he repeated, his lips only a few inches apart from his.

Taemin's heart skipped. He was too close, he was triumphing again... _'Why did I follow him out?' _

'No,' he finally breathed.

'Good.' Jonghyun wrapped his arms around him, his breath now tickling his ear. 'You were so amazing tonight, Tae...' he uttered softly.

Taemin closed his eyes, nostrils inevitably taking in his overwhelming scent. 'I don't care what you think,' he still fought back.

Jonghyun pulled back slightly, eyes digging into his again. Taemin wasn't sure, but he felt like that had reached him.

'I did this for me, not for you,' he continued with more confidence.

'I know that, Tae.'

They held each other's gaze for what felt like an eternity, until the world disappeared behind their closed eyes. Jonghyun tightened his grip as their lips met forcefully, letting out every bottled up feeling into it. Taemin couldn't offer any resistance, he had fought enough. His hand tugged at the other's hair, adding fire to their burning yearn.

'Let's get out of here,' Jonghyun proposed as they finally caught their breath.

Taemin wanted nothing more, but a voice at the back of his mind made its way through. 'No,' he declined as he brought his arms down.

'Tae, stop fighting me, I-'

'Is this how it's going to be now?' he cut off. 'We're going to meet, have a quick fuck and go our separate ways?' he outlined with spite.

Jonghyun looked helpless. 'That was never what I wanted, but it's the only way it's going to work. I'm always busy with recordings, performances and tours, and it's just going to be the same for you soon. I have no doubt that after tonight's performance, the whole country will want to have a piece of you.'

Taemin felt incredibly sad as it sank in. So this was the price they had to pay to be famous... Jonghyun must've read it on his face, because he was suddenly rubbing his back as he took him in his arms again.

'Tae... I love you,' he let out against him.

Taemin could taste salt on his lips. He didn't have to ask himself whose tears they were. He was the one crying. He could finally admit to himself that nothing mattered if he didn't have him.

'I love you too.'

______________________________________________________________________________

Jonghyun had been right. After that night, everything had skyrocketed into a hectic journey. They had been signed to the same company, had released a first album, and were now in the midst of a national tour. Taemin still couldn't believe it. The dream had really become him. And had become them too. He looked at his friends, all of them having surrendered to slumber as the train brought them to their next location.

He, on the other hand, was widely awake, unable to shake that excitement intricately laced with lingering nervousness. All he could do that in that moment was let his mind wander, every memory unfolding making him feel calmer. Before, thoughts of their past would leave him bitter, but it was no longer the case. He could now let himself believe that it must've been fate. And with that, his pride could only subside. He now realized that Jonghyun hadn't tried to trap him under his control; he had offered him freedom through the form of a life changing opportunity. Thinking about all the love and energy he got from the crowds he met, he could only be grateful. He could only accept that their paths were meant to cross, and for once, he had no problem with that. He knew this was only the beginning.


End file.
